Cait's profileSo I update this when I'...PhotosBlogListsMore  |  Tools Help |
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March 28 ah, the sound of procrastination...Some stuff....
1. Where were you 1 hour ago?
In the kitchen eating icecream. 2. When is the last time you filled up your gas tank? Never. 3. What is the most amount of money you spent in one store? $5-600 i think. 4. Is there anything pink within 10 feet in front of you? Not that I can see. 5. When is the last time you went to the mall? At lunch time today. 6. Are you wearing socks right now? Yes, they are black. 7. Do you have a car worth over $5,000? Nope, i havent even got a car, let alone one THAT expensive. 8. When was the last time you drove out of town? Going to Melbourne for a concert. 9. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days? Nup. 10. Are you popular? HAHAHAHAHA. Im popular on the Internet... (thanks Lor) 11. What was the last thing you had to drink? Apple Juice. 12. What was the last thing you mailed in the mail? umm.....mail. 13. Do you wash you car? If I had one I would....maybe... 14. Last fast food you ate. ICECREAM! 15. Where were you last week at this time? Probably sitting in this chair doing homework and chatting on msn. 16. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week? No, but the week before that I did. 17. ? I so agree. 18. Do you own any land? Nope, but my mum and dad do. 19. What do you want to be when you "grow up"? Happy, successful, and grown up. 20. Your dream vacation? Around the world....with LOADS of spending money 21. Last boat ride you went on? ummm......OH! i had a pedal boat ride before our lake dried up! 22. How old are your parents? Mum is 41 and Dad is 49 23. Do you like somone? Yes. 24. Do you have any single friends? Yes. 25. Last play you saw? Do musicals count? Coz I saw Bugsy Malone last (and made the costumes). 26. Have you been to New York? No....but maybe one day 27. What are your plans for tonight? Work on my project for Social Enquiry, sleep, and chat on MSN probably. 28. Last concert/gig you went to? Armageddon Sky/Standing Tall/The Reason 29. Next trip you are going to take? I really want to head up to Queensland for a bit, maybe I'll go in winter. 30. Ever go to camp? Yeh, every year of school I think. 31. Were you an honor roll student in school? No. But I didnt do badly. 32. What is your current GPA? A what now? 33. Are you wearing any purfume or cologne? Sort of, im wearing Impulse, does that count? 34. Are you hungry? Kinda. 35. Where is your best friend located? In my head. 36. Do you own a cowboy hat? No, but I have a lot of other ones. 37. Do you have a tan? Yes, I have annoying tan lines, including one on my wrist, its white where my watch is. 39. Do you collect anything? Dust. 40. Is this quiz annoying? Probably. 41. Last time you got pulled over? Heh, never. 42. Ever been arrested? No comment. 43. Been to Mexico for Spring Break? No, its a rather long road trip for me.... 44. Do you like hot sauce? YEP! 45. Do you need to do laundry? Only need to wash the shirt im wearing, coz i spilt icecream on it just before. 47. How many friends do you have? Not as many as I'd like to have. 48. Are you someones best friend? I think so... 49. Are you rich? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA NOOOOOO 50. When was your last paycheck? Thursday, and I already spent it all. March 27 NOOOOWE HAVE NO ICECREAM
Why, Why, WHYYYY??
*falls down having spasms*
Life is PUNISHING me....but for what?
Surely I havent done anything so bad that i deserve this?
Why God? Why have you taken away my lifeblood?
I can feel my life draining away already.........
*cries*
March 25 Things I have realised from the "great think"Some stuff I've learnt.
- if a person damages your trust through their actions then it probably isnt the best idea to go back and let them do it to you again (and again, and again)
- someone who says they love you but makes you feel worthless isnt the best person to hang around for
- love is only a feeling (i know..dodgy cliche) and it goes away for a reason, just like you can stop being sad for a reason
- wanting to stop being with someone doesnt make you a bad person
- discussing your problems with someone who is just as confused as you are and holds grudges against you isnt the best idea
- dave has a smile that goes great with a skirt
- i think i need professional counselling
- no matter how alone you feel, there is always someone you can turn to for a chat, or a hug
- i need to concentrate on things that really matter (like school work) and not a certain other person's confused state
- crying on the dog is much less lonely than crying into a pillow
- i want a future. after i finish uni, im going to japan. after that, i want to live in queensland, poland, or anywhere that isnt victoria.
- i should disconnect myself from negative people
- i need to learn to make decisions
- i need to learn how to open up to people
- i need to learn to not be scared of my emotions, but to use them in ways that enable me to not be so confused
Today is a good hair day. BUT its a bad brain day. I feel crappy.
Where do we feel emotions anyway? Are they connected to our brains, the way we think?
Hmm... I wonder if I should have studied Psychology rather than Arts....
BAD MAD SAD BAD BAD BADoh yes March 24 The Reason, Standing Tall & Armageddon Sky Gig!hot diggity damn it was coooool!!! So cool that im still kinda hyped up and am writing this at almost 4:00 am, coz i dont feel like sleeping!
got to the Karova and met Drax, we waited around for ages and then Josh, Clare, Leigh, Mocca and Jasper rocked up, and we all went in to check out the music...
The Reason from Sydney played first, they were pretty good, and Standing Tall from Ballarat were grand too. I used to work with their drummer.
Ran into some friends from Uni at the Karova too, had a bit of a chat.
Armageddon Sky were great too, they have a really great stage presence. Josh tried to start a mosh pit but they got told off by the bouncer.
After the bands were done we mucked around for a bit outside and then went back in. Mocca started playing pool with a couple of the guys from The Reason, and it was cool.
We made friends with them and after the Karova shut they were mucking round in the street, smashing up a guitar case that they didnt like, and then we went round to the Gravy Spot and introduced them to the unique thing that is chips and gravy after a night out in Ballarat. We got a ride in their van!
Then they had to head off to Melbourne (this is at 2:30am) and me, Drax and Mocca went back to get the remains of the smashed up guitar case as a souvenier. I got a buckle thing off it.
then we all went home.
It was so much fun!! March 21 Figuring outIm really bad at figuring things out. Hell, I managed to waste an hour in a computer lab at uni today trying to make things print for me, to no avail. I didnt get the darn things printed, and I was late for class. The people around me were scary too, otherwise I would have asked them to help.
However, I managed to get some thinking done too, and came to the conclusion that I do know what I want, and figured out some positive ways of acheiving it. So thats a good start on my "who the hell am i? " quest.
(And Im going to take some positive action and learn how to print stuff at uni too)
I worked out some beliefs too, which is definitely good.
And I didnt have a bad hair day, AND I had icecream for dessert.
Dave made me sad though, he was mocking me about not having a Cold Rock Icecreamery in Victoria.
Curse you Dave!!!
March 20 News updateOK
So aside from what we already know from the random, sporadic postings of late, what have I been doing?
I got my paperwork in the mail from Hogs Breath Cafe today. Its so exciting!!!
The sexy hair days ran to 5 days in a row, and then fizzled out yesterday. Today was a BAD HAIR DAY.
Some of you might remember that I broke up with my boyfriend a little while ago too.
Thats still going on, its messy and painful. Last night I think I managed to put the final nail in the coffin, so to speak. By being a cold, cruel, heartless bitch. I feel bad about it, but if I didnt do it there was no way I was ever going to get him to move on and accept that we arent together anymore.
I did some thinking and realised that I dont even know who I am, where im going, or what I believe in. I contradict myself constantly and cant order my thoughts properly to even come up with decent arguments for or against things. Im a fence sitter. I can never make decisions properly, even after agonising over something for weeks. And if I do make a decision out of desperation or necessity, I always regret it and wish id made the opposite decision. Its a painful process.
Now I have to work out who I am, what I like, what I dont like, what I believe in, what I want and what I will do when i find out all of these things (that is, if i ever do figure them out)
I realised I dont even know how to love people. Everytime somebody threatens to get too close to me, I disconnect, shut down and back off. I dont know if its because im scared of love, or im afraid of being hurt or what, but I hurt people because I dont return their love and I dont open up to them. Even if I want to, I cant. It just isnt an option. I dont know what to do about this. I dont know how I am going to find out what I believe in either.
Perhaps I should just go and hide in a corner for the rest of my life.
March 19 Quote de jourI found this quote on some website and liked it.
I think its true, a lot of people I know are 8 packs. There are a few that are more, 32 packs, 24 packs, 48 packs...
I think the person I need in my life is someone who has this power of articulation.
I personally am probably a 48 pack of crayons, but I pick up an extra colour every now and then, so I am gradually working my way up.
I seriously need more people and more colour in my life though, as I seem to be slipping into a trap of same old, same old.... and it isnt a good thing. I've been there before and it nearly sent me insane.
What to do?
I AM ALREADY FAMOUSCHECK THIS OUT....
More on the "me being in a comic thing.... my name was featured in an exploding dog (tm) drawing AND I DIDNT EVEN KNOW
until now.....
fear my fame!
March 18 IM GOING TO BE FAMOUSMarch 16 Icecream and shopping!!I think there's something drastically wrong with my hair... I've never EVER EVER EVER NEVER had 4 good hair days in a row. Its starting to freak me out. But more on that later, there are more important things to be mentioned. Like ICECREAM. It seems that nearly every one likes icecream!! Everyone I asked and who commented on my previous entry likes icecream. Except for those who LOVE icecream. Their like extends further. Now I would like to know what the BEST EVER icecream in the world is. This is vital information that needs to be researched. (FLY, MY MINIONS! FLY!!1!) Get out there and find out what the best ever icecream is. The best research method in my opinion is to go and taste it all for yourself. And if that means flying to Sudan, or Persia, or the moon to follow up a tip on the best icecream, I suggest you do it! GO! WAIT! dont go, I havent told you about my shopping today! Today I went shopping and I bought a lot of clothes: 3 Tshirts, 2 pairs of pants, a hoody jumper that my mum said makes me look like I escaped from prison, a mad pair of slippers that are huge, furry, and green (with bobbles!!!), a black hat, a MAD ASS jacket that is reminiscent of the red coat soldiers coats, (but its black, rather than red and white). I think thats all. Oh, I bought a sandwich and a drink too.
Now go and find out about icecream! March 15 Bored.Just wanted to tell the world that im bored.
hooray for 4 day weekends!
Tripod are mad.
I like icecream.
Thats all.
Me and Drax are going to play AoE tonight. I'll probably play against Anthony at some stage tomoz too.
thats all March 14 WootWhat is it about sexy hair days that make you feel so damned good??
Is it that you look good and know it? Is it because your hair is directly connected to your brain? Is it because you know if your hair is good, then nothing can possibly go wrong for the whole day???
We may never know.
But I have now had not 1, but 2 sexy hair days in a row. Yes, 2!
Unbelievable! I feel like I could take on the world and win a gold medal and rescue kittens from horrendous lawn mower attacks and...anything.
Normally I cant feel like this without sugar, caffeine, and alcohol, but i am actually low on caffeine, havent had a drink since saturday and havent had much sugar either.
Yes, folks, read and gasp.
I ACTUALLY FEEL HAPPY *listens to the gasps from around the world*
I am going shopping on Thursday for new clothes, and Im going to do something with my hair, and maybe go get that tattoo i want.
But I might chicken out on that one. Perhaps I should take someone along for courage, and to stop me from chickening out....
Perhaps I'll just get something pierced.
OOOOOOH YES
and I had a job interview today, and it looks like im gonna go from whoring pizzas 6 hours a week to waiting on tables and dishing up curly fries for the HOGS BREATH CAFE they're opening in Ballarat. I cant wait to leave the shithole I currently work in!!!
*dances for joy*
I had a rather good dayToday I had a rather marvellous day.
Nanna and my Aunty Sue came up from Geelong and we went to see the patchwork exhibition, some of the work there was unbelievably amazing and great.
THen we had lunch at Oscars and it was yummy.
After that we went to the embroiderers guild exhibition and saw what they were offering, i got some great ideas and saw some beautiful work
Props to the craftswomen involved (i didnt see any work by men)
Then we went back to Oscars for coffee and cake. Tres tasty.
and hot diggity damn my hair is looking sexy today. take a look at my new photos, they're all of me looking sexy!
or something.
comment if you like... March 10 Random thingymadoover time again
March 09 I would like to give an award to.....ESTHER!
The lovely Esther deserves an award because she is a champion.
No-one else is able to make me laugh the same way, because nobody else is anywhere near as mad as esther is!
She is a hero, a madwoman, a genius and a great friend!
So here is a shiny trophy for esther!
she's just grand RE: SufferingI would like to announce that i am now sane and feel much better about myself and everything else, although i am bored and do need a change.
seriously thinking of black hair with blue tips, or similar, and getting the tattoo i want.
and a wardrobe overhaul (i wish i was able to dress myself decently...)
anyone want to come shopping with me?? I need a stylist!!
What to do..I'm feeling quite bored with myself lately
I have:
plain black hair
a plain black wardrobe
no tattoos
only my ears are pierced
no money
a boring blog (i hate the colour and design scheme but its the best of a bad lot)
i may be feeling the need for colour, which is something i havent felt for a long time. or maybe i need a change.
blue streaks in my hair...get something pierced....get dreads...something.....anything so long as its different
what do you all think?
March 07 SufferingI'm now suffering for my own mistakes.
I know what it is to feel remorse.
Even though I broke it off, it hurts me that im hurting him by doing it.
It's all my fault. And it always was.
I feel cold and hollow, even though I wanted out, I still want him, miss him.
I screwed up.
His pain is hurting me more than mine.
And I dont know how to make it stop.
March 06 lol i am stupidIm having a really good day, everything I do just makes me feel smarter.*
Slept over at Anthony's last night (for those who dont know, he's my boyfriend)
Woke up when he jumped on the bed this morning, just after he'd had his morning shower to get ready for uni.
Then I got up and wandered around for a while, telling him he'd be late and that he was being slow (he WAS late and he WAS being slow) After he left I was sitting on his couch for a while, and I drifted back to sleep for 20 mins or so, then I got up and made a piece of toast. Which I burnt.
Then I got dressed etc and walked back to my place. No problems there. I was hungry so I had more toast for breakfast (this is 10:30ish) and decided it would be a good idea to have a shower. Jumped in the shower before I remembered that i'd already HAD one. So I got out of the shower and put some music on and got dressed in the clothes I was wearing. Then decided to change. Then I couldnt find my pants, so I put my other pants on and realised that the pants I wanted to wear were on the floor, and I was standing on them. (yes, i have a messy room at the moment. it happens when I have 2 sewing projects and homework etc on the go) that upped my stupid total about 15 points.
then i couldnt find my mp3 player to put in my bag for uni this afternoon. until i realised i was listening to it. the headphones were in my ears.
Then I had lunch and rushed out the door to go catch the bus for uni. and remembered id forgotten a book i sort of needed, but didnt have time to go back for it.
until about 15 paces later when i realised i was actually an hour ahead of the time i needed to be leaving home. yes, i rushed around getting ready and left the house before i realised i was an hour early.
so i walked home, embarassed and feeling like a moron, which for today at least, i am.
hopefully i will not do anything else dumb before the end of the day, i dont know if i could handle it....
*read: Cait is an idiot. |
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